Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Review: All the World’s an Undead Stage (Offbeat Crimes #6) by Angel Martinez

all the world's undead stageTitle ~ All The World’s an Undead Stage

Author ~ Angel Martinez

Publisher ~ Pride Publishing 

Published ~ 2nd January 2018

Genre ~ Paranormal M/M Romance





‘Old actors never die’ shouldn’t be literally true.

Carrington Loveless III, skim-blood vampire and senior officer of Philly’s paranormal police department, has long suspected that someone’s targeting his squad. The increasingly bizarre and dangerous entities invading their city can’t be a coincidence. So when a walking corpse spouting Oscar Wilde attacks one of his officers, Carrington’s determined to uncover the evil mind behind it all.

Carrington Loveless III, skim-blood vampire and senior officer of Philly’s paranormal police department, has long suspected that someone’s targeting his squad. The increasingly bizarre and dangerous entities invading their city can’t be a coincidence. So when a walking corpse spouting Oscar Wilde attacks one of his officers, Carrington’s determined to uncover the evil mind behind it all.


Cheryl’s Review

Although I can’t be sure because I haven’t been told. I believe this might be the last book in this amazing series. At last I have my Carrington book (although I’ve recently discovered that he starred in a previous instalment I somehow missed. I have now remedied that).

This story pulls together the overarching threads that ran through all the previous books into an explosive climax that will shock the heck out of you. Talk about unexpected! It also brings together all the characters, from Carr’s parents, to Ms. Teecosi, to delightful Captain Velbuena, as well as all the officers and…er…others from the 77th, including LJ, his new girlfriend, Hunter, Tim, Edgar and of course Audacity.

Like a master conductor, Carrington – sometimes blindly – guides them through their most puzzling and dangerous case yet. With the help of his new beau Erasmus, like Sherlock and Watson they blunder…er…navigate through turbulent waters as the evil genius who has been playing with the 77th like his own personal toy collection, finally shows himself and his deadly intent.

The book wouldn’t be complete without its cast of monsters and the zorpses (they couldn’t bring themselves to name the creepy, raised-from-the-dead, creatures zombies, although they kind of were) have to be one of the weirdest. For a rather entertaining reason, only the corpses of actors could be called back and the stumbling, rotting atrocities can’t help but perform lines from their favourite, or maybe their last productions. Like the flying books before them, they bring snippets of culture.

As usual, there is plenty of quirky humour amongst the angst and spine-tingling adventure, and so much strangeness it makes your head spin, but in a good way.

These books are a testament to good writing with everything from sex, to horror, to comedy that will stand them alongside classics like Pratchett and Gaiman (apt name at this point). These characters lend themselves to cosplay and deserve a convention all their own.

I can’t stress enough how strange and wonderful these books are. They’re very addictive and I’m gutted the journey is over. I hope I’m wrong and that the author will release many more in the series.

Purchase Links

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The Offbeat Crimes Series

limegelatinandothermonsters_800_thum_thumbLime Gelatin & Other Monsters (Offbeat Crimes #1)

Kyle Monroe’s encounter with a strange gelatinous creature in an alley leaves him scarred and forever changed, revealing odd abilities he wishes he didn’t have and earning him reassignment to a precinct where all the cops have defective paranormal abilities.

Just as he’s starting to adjust to his fellow misfit squad mates, Kyle’s new partner arrives. Tall, physically perfect, reserved, and claiming he has no broken psychic talents, Vikash Soren irritates Kyle in every way. But as much as he’d like to hate Vikash, Kyle finds himself oddly drawn to him, their non-abilities meshing in unexpected ways. If they can learn to work together, they might be able to stop the mysterious killer who has been leaving mutilated bodies along the banks of the Schuylkill.


pillbugsof timeThe Pill Bugs of Time

(Offbeat Crimes #2)

Vikash Soren, the perfect police officer except for his odd paranormal ability, never seems to lose his temper. Always serene and competent, he’s taken on the role of mediator in a squad room full of misfits. But on the inside, he’s a mess. Unable to tell his police partner that he loves him, Vikash struggles silently, terrified of losing Kyle as a lover, partner and friend.

But life in the 77th Precinct doesn’t leave much room for internal reflection. A confrontation with a stick-throwing tumbleweed in Fairmount Park leads to bizarre consequences involving pill bugs, statues and…time travel? If Vikash manages to survive the week and stay in one point in time, he might be able to address normal things like relationship problems. He just needs Kyle to have a little more patience. Maybe a few centuries’ worth.


skim bloodSkim Blood & Savage Verse (Offbeat Crimes #3)

Words damage more than just feelings as Carrington hunts feral books menacing the city.

When a ferocious book attacks Carrington at his own birthday party, he believes it’s an isolated incident. But similar books soon pop up all over town, menacing innocent people with harsh bits of poetry and blank verse that deliver damaging physical blows. It’s a frustrating case with too many variables and not enough answers, and the stakes go up with each attack.

With the help of his misfit squad mates at the 77th and the public library’s Rare Books Department, the missing pieces decrease but not Carrington’s vexations. His commanding officer rakes him over the coals at the beginning of every shift. His police partner has lost patience with what she sees as his delusional relationship choices and his inability to pick the right man in a vast field of two. City Hall demands that the books be stopped immediately. It’s enough to put a nutritionally challenged vampire off his skim blood.


feral dust bunnies

Feral Dust Bunnies

(Offbeat Crimes #4)

An orphaned kitten may be the only witness to romance and the impossible.

Officer Alex Wolf responds to a lot of ‘paranormal’ calls that aren’t. Exotic pet birds aren’t monsters and unusual dog breeds aren’t aliens. It’s a good thing he likes the Animal Control officers, but he both yearns for and dreads those calls where he runs into ACO Jason Shen. Jason’s scent is so delicious that Wolf has a difficult time humaning around him.

Animal Control calls take a disturbing turn, though, when Wolf and his lizard-man partner, Krisk, discover the impossibly mummified bodies of rats and an unfortunate mother cat. The rescue of the cat’s sole surviving kitten not only gives Wolf more time with Jason, which is both perplexing and wonderful, but also leads to dangerous discoveries. Something inconceivable stalks the city and its officers of the law. Wolf has to figure out what it is before it can attack and drain the life from the people and the kitten he loves.


jackalopesJackalopes & Woofen-Poofs (Offbeat Crimes #5)

Hoax animals and a consulting vampire on the prowl—ACO Jason Shen never thought having a cop boyfriend would be this hard.

All Animal Control Officer Jason Shen ever wanted was a quiet life of rescuing lost kittens and helping animals in need. Having a paranormal cop boyfriend guarantees an end to the quiet part. What at first seems like a random encounter with jackalopes in the park might be more than chance and when State Paranormal sends a handsome, charming vampire to consult with the Seventy-Seventh, he finds his relationship with Alex on shaky ground.

Officer Alex Wolf hoped his humaning skills were improving but now he can’t unravel the strange politics at State Paranormal or why Jason’s family seems to hate him. There’s no time to puzzle things out, either. Bizarre animals are loose in the city, Jason’s acting strange—and is the vampire captain from State flirting with him? Wolf’s going to have to keep his head in the game if he’s going to have any chance of putting the pieces together and keeping the city safe from the strange critters terrorizing its streets.


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Meet Angel Martinez

The unlikely black sheep of an ivory tower intellectual family, Angel Martinez has managed to make her way through life reasonably unscathed. Despite a wildly misspent youth, she snagged a degree in English Lit, married once and did it right the first time, (same husband for almost twenty-four years) gave birth to one amazing son, (now in college) and realized at some point that she could get paid for writing.

Published since 2006, Angel's cynical heart cloaks a desperate romantic. You'll find drama and humor given equal weight in her writing and don't expect sad endings. Life is sad enough.

She currently lives in Delaware in a drinking town with a college problem and writes Science Fiction and Fantasy centered around gay heroes.



1 comment:

  1. I loved this series and even though it came to a satisfying end, I wish there were more to look forward to.