We are thrilled and very excited to welcome Devon McCormack for his first Monthly Author Column here at Sinfully …Perv with A Pen… Love it!
A Little About Me and A Lot About Dicks
“So you’re like in porn, right?” Brittany asked.
I see her every few days at the gym. We’re just acquaintances, but we always have lovely chats whenever we see each other. Brittany is a personal trainer, and when she works out, it’s like watching an Amazon woman wrestle an anaconda. Only the anaconda is her workout mat.
I was just about to start another set of triceps dips when she took a break from crushing her mat into the floor to ask this totally random question. Considering the last thing we’d discussed was about what a lovely weekend we’d had, I was thrown. My immediate response was, “What?” But I realized it was just a misunderstanding. “Oh, no. I write gay erotica.”
She eyed me skeptically. “Really? Because I’m pretty sure I heard that…You know, I wouldn’t judge if—”
“No, no. I think something just got twisted as it made its way through the rumor mill.”
She still didn’t look like she believed me, so I explained what I really do and that I can keep all of my clothes on while I’m working at my computer on my erotic stories. (Although, of course, writing is a clothing-optional profession.)
It wasn’t a huge surprise that writing gay erotica got distorted in circulation. It’s an interesting conversation piece at parties, and my partner is always quick to talk about my dirty little secret with any stranger we might know for a whole five seconds. Not something I have a problem with, but suddenly I go from being a stranger to being the nasty perv who’s so hypersexual he can’t confine his sexual needs to the bedroom like normal people. But I always assure new acquaintances that I’m just like any other gay man: I put my condoms on one dick at a time…even if there are seven or eight of us. Also, admittedly, if I get wind of a strange rumor going around about me, I like to encourage it. As I told Brittany after I set her straight, “If there’s a rumor going around about me being in porn, don’t squash it. Makes my life seem a lot more exciting, doesn’t it?” It’s a lot easier than posing for pictures to make my life seem more exciting:
(Totally looks like climbing, right?)
My partner doesn’t appreciate me encouraging rumors, though, now that half of our friends think that we’re into scat, but it amuses me. And it’s not like saying we’re into Roman showers.
I began publishing three years ago with a little book called Clipped, a playful twist on Christianity.
In the beginning, God and Satan were lovers, and God made the world as a gift for Satan. After they broke up, as part of their post-break-up drama, God decided he wanted to destroy the world. Now Satan and his army of demons defend the world from God’s impending apocalypse. Initially, when I set out to publish the story, I was warned by a few agents and publishers that blasphemy would not appeal to the MM market. So I self-published the story and discovered that more people were interested in my blasphemous concept than those initial voices realized. And there was a pretty big market for the sort of twisted sex scenes I enjoyed writing, which is three parts pain and one part pleasure.
One of the most popular couples I’ve written has been from Clipped—an angel named Treycore and his mortal lover Kid. When they meet, they hate each other’s guts, but can’t fight the sexual chemistry between them. The problem? Treycore’s dick is far too big for Kid to easily take, so it takes quite a bit of…effort…for them to make sexual situations work. The idea was inspired by a situation I came across a few years ago.
“Whoa!” I exclaimed as I stared at the at least eight inches of cock before me. Fully erect and eager for action, I was a little thrown by the length and girth of my trick. He lay across the bed, his pants in my hands, halfway down his legs. I’d stopped pulling them down when I saw the challenge before me.
I’ve never been a fan of a big dick. I’m a little bit of an anomaly in that sense. Most of my gay peers are always excited to encounter one, but to me, they’re pretty intimidating. In some ways, I think I dissociate penises from their owners. It’s almost like, rather than having sex with one person, I suddenly have to have a threeway with them and their cock. And I’m such a terrible multitasker. Hence why I can only put on one condom at a time…
Me and this guy had met at a foam party earlier that night and after our modest courtship, found our way back to his place and started messing around. When his pants came off, there it was. The one-eyed monster. The fleshy snake, preparing to strike. The guy had already sucked on my cock for a while, so I felt that I needed to reciprocate, but not having any experience with one this size, I was a little unsure about how to approach it. So I played with it for like three seconds and then moved on to the next part of our adventure.
I’m not a quitter, though, and a challenge is just the thing to encourage me to pursue higher education. So the following day, I stood in my bestie Caroline’s house and set a cucumber on her kitchen table.
“Okay, what do I do?” I asked.
I was so serious you would have thought we were trapped in Jurassic Park and I needed her to guide me through a complex map so I could turn the power back on to keep the dinosaurs from escaping from their cages and killing everyone I loved.
Before I’d arrived, I’d debriefed Caroline about the night before, and she was eager to assist me. She was in a long-term relationship with a big-dicked guy, so I knew she could teach me a few things.
“His cock is like a giant banana,” I said. “Considering how many calories I’m eating a day, I’m scared my body is going to rebel and try to eat it.”
I had effectively starved myself down to 1,400 calories a day—something I don’t recommend human beings do…ever. But I really enjoyed having abs…even if that meant I had to consistently take ibuprofen to stop the chronic headaches and the feeling that I was going to pass out at any moment.
“It’s easier than you think,” she said as she offered me instructions. We were sitting adjacent to each other at her kitchen table—the way we might have been if we were playing a game of rummy. Only instead of holding cards, I had a nine-inch cucumber in my hand that I was shoving down my throat, working to keep from breaking the skin. And honestly, the moment that you’re deep-throating a cucumber in someone’s kitchen, that’s when you know you’ve found a friend for life.
After Caroline’s Course in Cocks, I got my BJ degree and went on to spend far more time practicing these new skills on this trick, who never complained. And only later did I tell him that I couldn’t go down on him until I learned to go down on a vegetable. Since then, I’ve become really popular in the produce section at the supermarket… Did you know cucumbers have their own version of Grindr?
Such a silly misadventure led to me considering how problematic a large cock could really be, and that’s why it became a major subplot in Clipped, which became my first Amazon Best Seller. So much for agents and publishers thinking this concept wouldn’t work in the MM market. And if you want to know how I first got to know the folks at Sinfully Gay Romance Book Reviews, you should check out their generous 5-star review of Clipped. Since that review, Monique and Macky have had a lot of fun through a few interviews and reviews, and they were so kind to offer me this author spot on the blog. But while I was honored and appreciative, my first thought was, “What the fuck am I going to have to say on an author spot?” Then I figured, “I never have anything to say when I’m with my friends, but I’m always talking, so it probably works about the same.”
Although, with friends, they’re usually like, “Devon, shut the fuck up!” I was at a funeral the other week, and there was this beautiful ceremony. The deceased had one of those military funerals, and when it ended, I was just overwhelmed with the spectacle of it all. I told my friend, “It’s amazing seeing the level of respect and honor in all those rituals they perform. The flag-folding. The stances. It really makes me wish that when I was younger I’d considered having sex with more military guys.” And on a blog I can say things like that without getting angry glares or curt shhhs. So much easier just getting angry comments. Which is why I’d like to take this opportunity, in these heated political times—Hillary praising Nancy Regan, Trump winning the Republican primary, women writing MM, guns in public colleges, Kim Kardashian and Bette Midler reigniting the Feminist Sex Wars—to state my very strong political opinion. Some of you won’t like this, but I don’t care. I don’t particularly care for flavored condoms. You know what doesn’t turn me on? Sucking on a dick that tastes like fudge…or strawberry…or banana. Who invented that? Who thought, “You know what this needs right now? More flavor!” But if it’s going to taste like something, it should at least be a cucumber...
I think I’m winding down on time and the appropriate length of a blog post, so I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Monique and Macky for having me participate in Sinfully Gay Romance Book Reviews like this. I look forward to sharing some thoughts and feelings with all of you in future posts. I hope you enjoy them, and if you do, you should check out my books because I wrote them! And I got it all, from angels and demons fucking in the jungles of South America to demon-possessed teens struggling against oppressive government institutions in dystopian Atlanta. Also, this summer, I’ll be releasing a YA novel with Harmony Ink Press (Dreamspinner’s YA line) and my first MM Romance, which I’ll be offering more details about in future posts. So follow me on InstaFacebook, Snapitter, MyGoogle Space, or wherever-the-fuck else I am. And bug the crap out of me. I’m a great person to stalk! Just ask my therapist and the officer I hire to deliver all my restraining orders.
Thanks for stopping by today, and looking forward to your comments!
Meet Devon McCormack
Devon McCormack spends most of his time hiding in his lair, adventuring in paranormal worlds with his island of misfit characters. A good ole Southern boy, McCormack grew up in the Georgian suburbs with his two younger brothers and an older sister. At a very young age, he spun tales the old fashioned way, lying to anyone and everyone he encountered. He claimed he was an orphan. He claimed to be a king from another planet. He claimed to have supernatural powers. He has since harnessed this penchant for tall tales by crafting whole worlds where he can live out whatever fantasy he chooses.
A gay man himself, McCormack focuses on gay male characters, adding to the immense body of literature that chooses to represent and advocate gay men's presence in media. His body of work ranges from erotica to young adult, so readers should check the synopses of his books before purchasing so that they know what they're getting into.
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