Friday, April 01, 2016

Devon McCormack’s Perv with a Pen… Monthly Sinfully Author Column includes Giveaway

PWP

We are thrilled and very excited to welcome Devon McCormack for his first Monthly Author Column here at Sinfully …Perv with A Pen… Love it!

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A Little About Me and A Lot About Dicks

Devon McCormack

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“So you’re like in porn, right?” Brittany asked.

I see her every few days at the gym. We’re just acquaintances, but we always have lovely chats whenever we see each other. Brittany is a personal trainer, and when she works out, it’s like watching an Amazon woman wrestle an anaconda. Only the anaconda is her workout mat.

I was just about to start another set of triceps dips when she took a break from crushing her mat into the floor to ask this totally random question. Considering the last thing we’d discussed was about what a lovely weekend we’d had, I was thrown. My immediate response was, “What?” But I realized it was just a misunderstanding. “Oh, no. I write gay erotica.”

She eyed me skeptically. “Really? Because I’m pretty sure I heard that…You know, I wouldn’t judge if—”

“No, no. I think something just got twisted as it made its way through the rumor mill.”

She still didn’t look like she believed me, so I explained what I really do and that I can keep all of my clothes on while I’m working at my computer on my erotic stories. (Although, of course, writing is a clothing-optional profession.)

It wasn’t a huge surprise that writing gay erotica got distorted in circulation. It’s an interesting conversation piece at parties, and my partner is always quick to talk about my dirty little secret with any stranger we might know for a whole five seconds. Not something I have a problem with, but suddenly I go from being a stranger to being the nasty perv who’s so hypersexual he can’t confine his sexual needs to the bedroom like normal people. But I always assure new acquaintances that I’m just like any other gay man: I put my condoms on one dick at a time…even if there are seven or eight of us. Also, admittedly, if I get wind of a strange rumor going around about me, I like to encourage it. As I told Brittany after I set her straight, “If there’s a rumor going around about me being in porn, don’t squash it. Makes my life seem a lot more exciting, doesn’t it?” It’s a lot easier than posing for pictures to make my life seem more exciting:

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(Totally looks like climbing, right?)

My partner doesn’t appreciate me encouraging rumors, though, now that half of our friends think that we’re into scat, but it amuses me. And it’s not like saying we’re into Roman showers.

I began publishing three years ago with a little book called Clipped, a playful twist on Christianity.

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In the beginning, God and Satan were lovers, and God made the world as a gift for Satan. After they broke up, as part of their post-break-up drama, God decided he wanted to destroy the world. Now Satan and his army of demons defend the world from God’s impending apocalypse. Initially, when I set out to publish the story, I was warned by a few agents and publishers that blasphemy would not appeal to the MM market. So I self-published the story and discovered that more people were interested in my blasphemous concept than those initial voices realized. And there was a pretty big market for the sort of twisted sex scenes I enjoyed writing, which is three parts pain and one part pleasure.

One of the most popular couples I’ve written has been from Clipped—an angel named Treycore and his mortal lover Kid. When they meet, they hate each other’s guts, but can’t fight the sexual chemistry between them. The problem? Treycore’s dick is far too big for Kid to easily take, so it takes quite a bit of…effort…for them to make sexual situations work. The idea was inspired by a situation I came across a few years ago.

“Whoa!” I exclaimed as I stared at the at least eight inches of cock before me. Fully erect and eager for action, I was a little thrown by the length and girth of my trick. He lay across the bed, his pants in my hands, halfway down his legs. I’d stopped pulling them down when I saw the challenge before me.

I’ve never been a fan of a big dick. I’m a little bit of an anomaly in that sense. Most of my gay peers are always excited to encounter one, but to me, they’re pretty intimidating. In some ways, I think I dissociate penises from their owners. It’s almost like, rather than having sex with one person, I suddenly have to have a threeway with them and their cock. And I’m such a terrible multitasker. Hence why I can only put on one condom at a time…

Me and this guy had met at a foam party earlier that night and after our modest courtship, found our way back to his place and started messing around. When his pants came off, there it was. The one-eyed monster. The fleshy snake, preparing to strike. The guy had already sucked on my cock for a while, so I felt that I needed to reciprocate, but not having any experience with one this size, I was a little unsure about how to approach it. So I played with it for like three seconds and then moved on to the next part of our adventure.

I’m not a quitter, though, and a challenge is just the thing to encourage me to pursue higher education. So the following day, I stood in my bestie Caroline’s house and set a cucumber on her kitchen table.

“Okay, what do I do?” I asked.

I was so serious you would have thought we were trapped in Jurassic Park and I needed her to guide me through a complex map so I could turn the power back on to keep the dinosaurs from escaping from their cages and killing everyone I loved.

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Before I’d arrived, I’d debriefed Caroline about the night before, and she was eager to assist me. She was in a long-term relationship with a big-dicked guy, so I knew she could teach me a few things.

“His cock is like a giant banana,” I said. “Considering how many calories I’m eating a day, I’m scared my body is going to rebel and try to eat it.”

I had effectively starved myself down to 1,400 calories a day—something I don’t recommend human beings do…ever. But I really enjoyed having abs…even if that meant I had to consistently take ibuprofen to stop the chronic headaches and the feeling that I was going to pass out at any moment.

“It’s easier than you think,” she said as she offered me instructions. We were sitting adjacent to each other at her kitchen table—the way we might have been if we were playing a game of rummy. Only instead of holding cards, I had a nine-inch cucumber in my hand that I was shoving down my throat, working to keep from breaking the skin. And honestly, the moment that you’re deep-throating a cucumber in someone’s kitchen, that’s when you know you’ve found a friend for life.

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After Caroline’s Course in Cocks, I got my BJ degree and went on to spend far more time practicing these new skills on this trick, who never complained. And only later did I tell him that I couldn’t go down on him until I learned to go down on a vegetable. Since then, I’ve become really popular in the produce section at the supermarket… Did you know cucumbers have their own version of Grindr?

Such a silly misadventure led to me considering how problematic a large cock could really be, and that’s why it became a major subplot in Clipped, which became my first Amazon Best Seller. So much for agents and publishers thinking this concept wouldn’t work in the MM market. And if you want to know how I first got to know the folks at Sinfully Gay Romance Book Reviews, you should check out their generous 5-star review of Clipped. Since that review, Monique and Macky have had a lot of fun through a few interviews and reviews, and they were so kind to offer me this author spot on the blog. But while I was honored and appreciative, my first thought was, “What the fuck am I going to have to say on an author spot?” Then I figured, “I never have anything to say when I’m with my friends, but I’m always talking, so it probably works about the same.”

Although, with friends, they’re usually like, “Devon, shut the fuck up!” I was at a funeral the other week, and there was this beautiful ceremony. The deceased had one of those military funerals, and when it ended, I was just overwhelmed with the spectacle of it all. I told my friend, “It’s amazing seeing the level of respect and honor in all those rituals they perform. The flag-folding. The stances. It really makes me wish that when I was younger I’d considered having sex with more military guys.” And on a blog I can say things like that without getting angry glares or curt shhhs. So much easier just getting angry comments. Which is why I’d like to take this opportunity, in these heated political times—Hillary praising Nancy Regan, Trump winning the Republican primary, women writing MM, guns in public colleges, Kim Kardashian and Bette Midler reigniting the Feminist Sex Wars—to state my very strong political opinion. Some of you won’t like this, but I don’t care. I don’t particularly care for flavored condoms. You know what doesn’t turn me on? Sucking on a dick that tastes like fudge…or strawberry…or banana. Who invented that? Who thought, “You know what this needs right now? More flavor!” But if it’s going to taste like something, it should at least be a cucumber...

I think I’m winding down on time and the appropriate length of a blog post, so I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Monique and Macky for having me participate in Sinfully Gay Romance Book Reviews like this. I look forward to sharing some thoughts and feelings with all of you in future posts. I hope you enjoy them, and if you do, you should check out my books because I wrote them! And I got it all, from angels and demons fucking in the jungles of South America to demon-possessed teens struggling against oppressive government institutions in dystopian Atlanta. Also, this summer, I’ll be releasing a YA novel with Harmony Ink Press (Dreamspinner’s YA line) and my first MM Romance, which I’ll be offering more details about in future posts. So follow me on InstaFacebook, Snapitter, MyGoogle Space, or wherever-the-fuck else I am. And bug the crap out of me. I’m a great person to stalk! Just ask my therapist and the officer I hire to deliver all my restraining orders.

Thanks for stopping by today, and looking forward to your comments!

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Meet Devon McCormack

11138153_1593415330904492_829124014577912187_nDevon McCormack spends most of his time hiding in his lair, adventuring in paranormal worlds with his island of misfit characters. A good ole Southern boy, McCormack grew up in the Georgian suburbs with his two younger brothers and an older sister. At a very young age, he spun tales the old fashioned way, lying to anyone and everyone he encountered. He claimed he was an orphan. He claimed to be a king from another planet. He claimed to have supernatural powers. He has since harnessed this penchant for tall tales by crafting whole worlds where he can live out whatever fantasy he chooses.

A gay man himself, McCormack focuses on gay male characters, adding to the immense body of literature that chooses to represent and advocate gay men's presence in media. His body of work ranges from erotica to young adult, so readers should check the synopses of his books before purchasing so that they know what they're getting into.

BLOG | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | GOODREADS | HARMONY INK PRESS | WILDE CITY PRESS |

DEVON’S AMAZON AUTHOR PAGE

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Giveaway

Each week, on our Author Column posts we will gift to one lucky commenter, a Kindle eBook from your TBR list.

Please leave your email address with your comment so we can contact you.

Good Luck!

::: And the winner is……. Debby……. CONGRATULATIONS! :::

46 comments:

  1. Is there a reason why that cucumber don't show on this post? *grins*
    Hello Devon, your life seems like interesting story by itself and that rock climbing pic is (you don't see it but I raise two thumbs up here!). Good luck on your upcoming release this summer! :)

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    1. Forgot to put my email addy (DOH)
      puspitorinid AT yahoo DOT com

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    2. Hahaha. Thanks, Dee. Appreciate the comment and the thumbs up. Have a great weekend! :)

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  2. I loved your post! It made me smile before I have to get down to work. Thanks!
    tkronenw1@gmail.com

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    1. Thanks, Tammy. Glad my post could start your work day off on the right foot. ;) Hope you have a good weekend.

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  3. Thank you, Devon! Your post has been a hilarious relief in a horrendous working morning in my office.... Oh! and I agree with you. I do not care for flavored condoms either. Who buys condoms thinking "I fancy stawberry, peach and maybe mint"? That's absurd...
    susanaperez7140(at)gmail(dot)com

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    1. Thanks for commenting, booksandmore. And why fruit? If they want me to go for flavor, it should taste like cake or donuts. I'd blow anyone if they tasted like a carb. ;) Glad you enjoyed the post. Hope your day gets better!

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  4. Great blog, I laughed a lot, and never thought of using cucumbers ... I just gave it my best shot ;)

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    1. I was never the kind of kid who could go into a test and just give it my best shot. Always had to study really hard just to get by. Lol. Thanks for commenting, George. Glad you enjoyed the post. :)

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  5. I loved Clipped and can't wait to read more! Also, congrats on the cucumber!

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    1. Thanks, Sabrina! So glad you enjoyed Clipped. That series has a very special place in my cold, black heart. Hopefully, my life will be filled with more fun abuses of vegetables in the future.

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  6. Hi Devon and welcome on Sinfully!
    I was laughing so hard this morning reading your post that I almost forgot to start eating my breakfast... and if you'd know me, you'd understand better what a big thing this was ;-)
    It really never occured to me to train myself with a cucumber, as I really dislike it, though on a second thought that might be a real effective incentive to master the no teeth nipping part of it, lol!
    I don't know how I'm gonna wait a month for your next column... I'll probably have to start reading my very first Devon McCormack novel. Any advice for a newbie to your work?
    Have a nice weekend climbing or doing whatever will suit your fancy.

    foebz (at) hotmail (dot) com

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    1. Thanks for commenting, Elle! Glad you enjoyed the post. You don't like cucumbers or you don't like giving bjs? Either way, I'm in the same boat. The cucumber was just a means to an end. ;)

      Clipped is one of the best book to start out with, I believe. Just keep in mind the sex is gratuitous and over-the-top. Outside of that, I think Cheating Bastard is a good sampler of my writing style (15,000 words). Although, that doesn't have a HEA, and it's a lot darker than Clipped. But if you're interested in something a little more romantic and don't mind young adult, Hideous or When Ryan Came Back are good options. And if all you want is a total mind-fuck, then I'd say Lying Bastard (a standalone that comes after Cheating Bastard). Have I overwhelmed you yet? :) Obviously, I recommend them all.

      This weekend will be a lot of catching up on writing projects. I'm so behind right now! Gah! Thanks again for the comment. Hope you enjoy your weekend.

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    2. I meant I dislike cucumbers... as for the bjs, let's just say it mostly depends on the He on the receiving end ;-p
      And thanks for the overwhelming recommendations!

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    3. Hahaha. So true, Elle. So true. ;)

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  7. Hello Mr. McCormack, just wanted to say what a huge fan I am! Also thanks for all the lovely signatures you've sent! The officer who delivers them is real nice! My boo bear even gave him a tip for his taking the time to deliver your signature personal! Ain't that sweet? I look forward to your new book coming out, and was wondering what your plans were exactly regarding the Clipped series? Seems it's unfinished at the moment and there really should be another book. Norbert, my uh, pet, agrees. He's a fan too! Thanks for taking the time out of your busy cucumber deep throating practice to entertain your readers. I hope that pesky gag reflex isn't giving you too much trouble!

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    1. You realize this correspondence is a violation of that restraining order, right? *sighs* But I'm glad to hear your boo bear tipped him. I don't have the spare cash to make it rain on that underpaid officer.

      More books in the Clipped series? Hmmm...I thought it was finished already. Did it leave you hanging? Oh, no. Maybe my publisher left out the ending. Silly editing. :) I'm working on the third book now, which is going to be fucking EPIC! I'm really excited about seeing Treycore and Kid in an immortal prison. That's right. And it's not going to be easy for Kid when he's surrounded by a bunch of rapey inmates. Meanwhile, Hayde tries to help Kinzer find the new whereabouts of the Antichrist, despite Kinzer hating his fucking guts now...for obvious reasons. But I don't have a release date for the book yet. Just the promise that it keeps getting crazier and even more deranged.

      Thanks for keeping Norbert at bay while I finish the third book, though. It helps a lot when I'm not having to check for suspicious packages every time I enter the house.

      I'm looking forward to sharing other crazy misadventures in my next post, so hopefully people will care. Lol. As for the gag reflex, oh my God, it's terrible. I try, but there's always that moment when I'm like, "Damn, I might vomit on my bf right now."

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  8. enjoyed the blog post today
    jmarinich33@aol.com

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, Jodi! Appreciate it. :)

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  9. OH MY GOSH. That's all I can say. :p

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    1. Hahaha. Thought you might enjoy this, Wade. ;) We need to meet ASAP! xoxo

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  10. Thank you for the fun post Devon! My sides hurt from laughing.
    humhumbum AT yahoo DOT com

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    1. Thanks for commenting, H.B. So glad the post made you laugh so hard! :)

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  11. Well now that was a great pick-me-up after a long day at work ;-) And this has me adding Clipped to my wish list! Great post!

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    1. You should totally add Clipped to your wish list. I hear it's amazing, but I might be slightly biased. ;) So glad the post gave you a lift after the work day. Hope you enjoy your weekend, and thanks for stopping by and commenting.

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  12. That's was a great post! Thanks for the giggles.

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    1. Thanks for the words of encouragement, Laurie. I'll be here the same time next month if you're near your computer. :) Have a good weekend!

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  13. Hi Devon, I really enjoyed meeting you. Very interesting!
    debby236 at gmail dot com

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    1. Nice meeting you as well, Debby. Thank you for stopping by. :)

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    2. Hi Debby, congratulations! You are the lucky winner of Devon's first author column post with us. Lets hope there are lots more to come. An email is on its way to you :-)

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  14. It was a beautiful cucumber! I'm looking forward to reading more from you.

    ree.dee.2014 (at) gmail (dot) com

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    1. Thanks for the comment, Ree Dee. I'll be here first Friday of next month with some more ridiculousness if you're around. :)

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  15. hey Devon! LOL and more LOLs. reading something like this early in the morning woke up my sleep-deprived brain! looking forward to reading more from you. see ya on FB, you smexy you! ;)

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    1. darn cockumber... er...i mean cucumber!:P made me forget my addy so here it is:

      aobibliophile(at)gmail(dot)com

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    2. Smexy me...hmmm...that sounds familiar... ;) Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Glad the post could help wake up your sleep-deprived brain. Have a good weekend!

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  16. I love the rock 'climbing' picture. A great post.

    marypres(AT)gmail(DOT)com

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    1. Thanks, Mary. Glad you enjoyed it. Hope you have a great weekend. :)

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  17. Clipped was a really interesting story!

    leetee2007(at)hotmail(dot)com

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    1. Thanks, Lee Todd! Glad you enjoyed Clipped. Since it was my first published book, it holds a very special place in my heart. Thanks for commenting.

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  18. LOL - thanks for the awesome post! I loved this line: "My partner doesn’t appreciate me encouraging rumors, though, now that half of our friends think that we’re into scat, but it amuses me."

    jen(dot)f(at)mac(dot)com

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    1. Hahaha. It's a great example of my warped sense of humor IRL. Don't know how the poor guy puts up with me. Thanks for the comment and stopping by for the post. :)

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  19. This was the most entertaining post I've read in a really long time! I hope your books are just as entertaining as I have a couple on my TBR. If they are, I'll be sure to move them up in the pecking (no pun intended - yet) order. legacylandlisa(at)gmail(dot)com

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    1. That's so nice of you to say, Lisa. Glad you found the post amusing. You'll definitely see my twisted sense of humor throughout my books. Although, I also have a dark side to this naughty brain of mine, which I can't hide in them. Hope you get a chance to check out the books. Thanks for commenting and hope you have a good weekend.

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  20. OMG, I laughed out loud, for real, about the cucumber. I had a bisexual friend named..."C" to respect his privacy, who demonstrated his lack of gag reflex with a banana. Oh, those were the days! I'm definitely going to check out Clipped, as I love the premise, and I love your sense of humor. Look forward to "stalking" you online where I can. Thanks for the memories, and the laugh.

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  21. OMG, I laughed out loud, for real, about the cucumber. I had a bisexual friend named..."C" to respect his privacy, who demonstrated his lack of gag reflex with a banana. Oh, those were the days! I'm definitely going to check out Clipped, as I love the premise, and I love your sense of humor. Look forward to "stalking" you online where I can. Thanks for the memories, and the laugh.

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    1. No problem, Nihcki. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I wish I didn't have to deal with that ole annoying gag reflex. Alas, there are dreams that cannot be... ;) Hope you enjoy Clipped. It's one of my favorite babies, and stalk away! I'm easy to find. :)

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