Friday, May 29, 2015

Featured Guest Author ::: Ethan Day ::: Includes a Review of Love Me Tomorrow & Giveaway

We are delighted to welcome Ethan Day to the blog, it’s his first visit to Sinfully, so I hope you will all give him a warm welcome and fingers crossed he might pop in again. He’s here to chat about his recent new release Love Me Tomorrow and some of the themes included in the book. Tell us what you think by leaving a comment below and you could also be in with the chance to win an e-copy of this book.

A Word from Ethan Day

Hello to everyone at Sinfully! I’d like to thank Monique, Macky & Mark for having me on the blog today. Lately, it seems as if I do more running around than writing, and thus taking time to stop and reflect is a bit of luxury at this stage in my personal evolution. Many thanks to those of you who’ve dropped by to keep me company.

I wanted to take this reflective opportunity to chat about some of the themes from my latest release, Love Me Tomorrow. *Available now at an online ebook retailer near you* : ) This story is all about what happens when you find the man of your dreams, only to discover that he already has a boyfriend.

Before we get into things, allow me to preface the author ramblings below by stating that I am fully aware these are my opinions and if they do not line up with your own, I am not asking you to forgo your own beliefs and agree with me. We are all different in our own ways—sometimes those differences can bring us closer together and other times tear us apart. This post isn’t intended to incite arguments or drama, I just wanted to talk about what inspired this book, what I’ve learned since it was released and perhaps hear from anyone else out there who wanted to share their own experiences or thoughts.

Allow me to first admit that I never actually set out to write a story that toyed around with the topic of cheating. And to be clear, there is no actual cheating within the pages of the book—that being said, there are times when the narrative skates close to the edge. Yet it wasn’t initially part of the plotline when I began imagining who my characters would be. All I truly knew when I first sat down to start writing and plotting the story arc was how taken I was by the concept of writing a contemporary love story where our heroes didn’t jump right into the sack and have a go at one another.

For most gay men, even ones who have the best of intentions—it can often be difficult to abstain from sex. Especially when that instant chemistry is there, creating that ever-so-delicious tension between two people. That’s not to say that two gay men can’t keep their hands off one another, but boys do like to play with their toys and that often means best laid plans can end up going the way of the wind—at least in my own experience.

I’ve also personally never believed the concept of abstinence to be a realistic option in today’s world. Again, there may be people out there who can successfully utilize this particular lifestyle choice to keep themselves from falling into another’s arms, but from my personal point of view, people are likely most successful at abstinence when access to sex is limited—being overly worked into chastity by employment responsibilities or possibly family obligations, such as taking care of children or elderly parents/grandparents. Those are very real obstacles to be sure, but ones that are usually dictated by a lack of opportunity or access or even exhaustion.

For Love Me Tomorrow, I really wanted there to be a plausible reason to keep my heroes out of the bedroom, and while I did infuse some of the above scenarios into Levi’s background—there needed to be more. I couldn’t fathom meeting a guy and discovering that instant connection and being strong enough as an individual to not wanna jump his bones. And honestly, if two single characters are into one another, why would they wait? What reason would be realistic enough to be able to lynch-pin an entire story around?

When looking at who my characters were, I could only come up with one thing that made sense—one of them would need to be in a relationship already. Once I accepted that was the scenario my protagonists would find themselves in, the entire story quickly fell into place.

Nobody wants to be cheated on, and no one wants to have the person they’ve been in a long-term relationship with, leave in order to be with someone else. It’s our natural instinct to villainize the person who leaves, and there are likely plenty of ‘leavers’ out roaming the Earth who deserve to be cast in the role of villain, lol.

The flip side for me is that nagging question: Would I want to be with someone who chose to stay with me out of obligation if they had fallen in love with someone else? At what point does something that seemed admirable on the surface begin to eat away at the individual who stayed? Would that spoil what was once beautiful in the relationship, eventually turning into resentment which would lead to the inevitable dissolution of the relationship anyway? That is certainly a huge fear of my own, to be in a relationship with someone who would rather be with someone else. That is the type of scenario that haunts me and keeps me up at night, lol. But I realize that may not be the same ‘worst-case’ for everyone.

One thing that had never occurred to me, which I discovered in a reader review of Love Me Tomorrow, was the concept of ‘emotional cheating’. I had to really sit back and consider the idea because it was, in all honesty, something that had never crossed my mind. I think the main reason for that fact is I don’t believe our feelings and emotions are something we can truly control, so how do you hold someone accountable for something they cannot control? We can certainly control how those emotions reach the surface by tempering what we reveal to those around us. We may be angry or in pain and still walk around with a smile on our face. We could be happier than we ever dreamed possible yet choose to hold it in because we don’t want others around us to know. And I think most of us are all-too-familiar with the scenario of being in love with someone who we’re too afraid to confront, so we don’t allow those feelings to surface when we’re in the presence of the object of our affection.

Yet, even believing the above to be true, part of what makes the world interesting is the diversity of beliefs out there which can vary from one individual to another. Obviously emotional cheating as an overall concept has been created and labeled as such because it does mean something to some of you out there. But what constitutes emotional cheating for those who do believe in the concept? How do you hold someone accountable for their emotions when we, as a species, cannot control our feelings? People can’t shut off their emotions when they’re inconvenient – not really. We can try to avoid and ignore those feelings, for sure, but they don’t go away simply because we want them to. How we act upon those emotions—that we can control, but the emotions themselves aren’t really negotiable, at least not in my own experience.

My goal when it came to addressing Levi and Jake’s feelings for one another within the story was based upon my own experience. I didn’t want things to be easy for them. I didn’t want a cut and dry resolution because I don’t feel as if life typically provides those to us. Similarly, I didn’t want the odd man out to be a total creep either, making the decision of whether or not to leave an easy one for Jake—who wasn’t the type of guy who would have stuck around in a crummy relationship for years to begin with. In this story, love needed to be earned and part of that process was the annihilation of the characters good intentions when it came to trying to do the right thing by staying away from one another. Fate continued to intervene and our heroes were continually thrust back into the same air space.

I have to say that for me, as a writer, this was one of the most satisfying books to get onto the page. The challenges were built in to the narrative and I had a great time navigating those waters in a way that felt realistic to me based upon who the characters were. End of the day, what I appreciate even more is learning something new about the human condition. The idea of emotional cheating was something I’d never considered before writing this book and reading some of the reviews. Whether you’re an emo-cheating believer or not, I’d love to hear your thoughts on the topic, or the topic of cheating in general—where is that line in the sand for you? And is that line based upon a set of ideals or a reaction to actual experience?

I realize this topic is a passionate one for many, that being said, all I ask is that everyone be respectful of any opinions that may not line up with your own. I am genuinely curious to hear what constitutes cheating from all of you and why. : )

I’m offering up a free copy of Love Me Tomorrow to be chosen at random one week from today from those who leave a comment on this post! Feel free to post your thoughts on cheating or simply leave a short comment letting me know you’d like to participate in the contest or both!

Much Love,

Ethan

 

Love Me Tomorrow by Ethan Day

 

Publisher ~ Wilde City Press

Published ~ 19th March 2015

Genre ~ Contemporary M/M Romance

Rating

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Synopsis

Event planner Levi Goode is positioned to inherit the newly vacated throne, becoming the in-demand party planner for Wilde City’s elite. Years of hard work and perseverance are finally paying off as Levi lands his next big fish, working with socialite Julia Freeman-Kingsley. Distracted by work and dealing with his head strong mother, an ex-Vegas-showgirl suffering from debilitating health issues, Levi has his hands full. Time for love or even the occasional one-night stand, is one aspect of life Levi hasn’t been able to master.
Sparks of interest fly during a chance meeting with a paramedic called to the aid of his mother, and thanks to Ruby’s meddling, Levi finds himself on a movie-date with the handsome Paramedic Jake. Personal and professional worlds collide when Levi realizes his new love interest is actually Jake Freeman, estranged brother to his brand new client. Discovering the man of his dreams already has a boyfriend, leaves Levi stunned realizing any hopes he had for something more with Jake were never going to be anything more than wishful thinking.
Struggling to downshift his expectations and remain friends with Jake while continuing to work closely with Julia quickly consumes all of his time and attention. Wondering if there will ever be a special someone to love him, is where Levi’s love story begins.

Alan’s Review

In another period, Love Me Tomorrow would be considered a ‘Comedy of Manners’, or perhaps more appropriately, a ‘Comedy of Errors”. Mr. Day’s new novel is a rollicking ride, a roller-coaster for both the characters and the reader. And “roller coaster” is the perfect metaphor, because the book opens upon a real roller coaster that appears, as if by magic, when one wall of a huge catering tent is drawn back to expose a full-blown carnival, rides and all. The catering tent is the location for the biggest fund-raising gala in Wilde City, and our protagonist is the over-the-top event planner who pulled this particular rabbit out of his hat. Nine hundred of the richest donors in town, eyes wide, drawn by the charm and innocence of childhood memories, race to the rides, games and cotton candy, resplendent in evening gowns and tuxedos.

Levi Goode is the young, good-looking, event planner from whose fervid imagination this bacchanal was brought forth to surprise and delight the normally-jaded guests. This event is his chance to make the big time, and a tragedy that occurred, just that evening, makes it even more likely. Just as he is about to bring on the entertainment, he learns that his competition, the pre-eminent doyenne who reigned as the event planner to the rich and connected, just died. Levi is not the only one grinning at the news. Yes, it’s his great opportunity, his shot at the big time, but Libby Washington was a first-class witch, sabotaging events that didn’t hire her, destroying anyone who dared to compete with her. There’s not a wet eye in the house, as Levi basks in the praise of his patrons and dreams about an unlimited future with Libby gone from Wilde City forever.

It’s at this moment that Levi is introduced to Julia Freeman-Kingsley, a wealthy young woman from a very prominent family, who is now free to hire any event planner she wants for her annual Anniversary Party, and she wants Levi. It’s the social event of the year, and just what Levi needs to cement his position as the official Libby Washington replacement. The nice Libby Washington Replacement. Although he’s nervous meeting Julia, the two immediately hit it off. Julia is about to become Levi’s new BFF (though he already has one – his ever-cranky business partner, Valerie).

This introduction to Julia is the key event that launches a thousand miscommunications, ships-passing-in-the-night, minor heartaches and endless challenges. The first of these is meeting Julia’s parents, the Senator and his adoring trophy wife. They are skeptical of this gay man who is about to take a heck of a lot of their money and create a storied event to be remembered for many years to come. He handles them like a diplomat, dropping the name of their most hated social competitor to ensure they will hire him so the other woman can’t, and stroking the Senator’s ego for all he’s worth. It works, he’s hired.

Then there’s Ruby. What can I say? In a cast of nothing but over-the-top, priceless, unique, and wonderful personalities, Ruby tops them all. She’s also Levi’s mother. An ex-headline-stripper in Las Vegas, she’s been sidelined by a damaging case of pneumonia and the lingering breathing difficulties that have plagued her ever since. She’s wonderfully crude and colorful, at times an embarrassment to Levi, but he’s still the doting son who gave her the small house she lives in, and pays for her nursing care. And isn’t that a complete waste of money, since she fires each and every one of them after only a few days, because they just “don’t know how to have fun”?

She also indirectly sets in motion the inevitable “meet-cute”. Levi is regrettably without a partner these days, since his lover of three years, Dan Cain, kicked him to the curb when he met a brainless muscle queen. Most ironic of all is that Dan is the real-estate developer who rehabbed the boardwalk on which the cancer fundraiser was held, which is also the location of Levi’s office. He didn’t get much warning that he was going to be dumped, but at least he still has the sweetheart deal on the building that houses both his business and apartment, courtesy of the failing real-estate venture that threatens to bankrupt Dan. So what’s ironic? Levi’s event ends up making the boardwalk suddenly fashionable again, and Dan’s fortunes are soaring.

But back to Ruby and the meet-cute. As he drives to the house to check on her, he panics when he sees emergency vehicles outside her door. Fortunately, it’s not as serious as it looks. Ruby’s had another breathless spell, grown faint and fallen to the floor, hitting her head. Of course, there’s no nurse around. Ruby had fired the latest one, days ago. Though there’s no nurse to be had, there is a gorgeous EMT reassuring Levi that his mother is just fine, and setting Levi’s heart to beating right out of his chest. He’s never seen anyone so beautiful, and he’s never before been moved like this by someone he’d just met. Yes, it’s love (or at least lust) at first sight! Jake’s and his eyes meet, and they’re both goners.

So much so that Jake and Levi get together, later on, and almost kiss. Almost… it’s about to happen, and at the last minute Jake pulls away. Major angst! Why is he pulling away? Perhaps he doesn’t like me? But I thought…

All is resolved just a few days later, at Julia’s house, where she and Levi are having an early planning session for the celebrated Anniversary Party. Who shows up? Jake, the EMT, with (are you ready for this?) his “husband”. They’re not legally married, but they’ve been together for nine years. And Jake is Julia’s twin brother! That means that Jake is richer than Croesus, right? No, his choice of career (helping people as an EMT) is not what his father had planned for him, so he was cut off from the family money, clout and approval.

Needless to say, Levi is furious. What a liar! The man who almost kissed him is his client’s twin, and a married man.

Most of the rest of the book is the tale of the two of them doing this dance with each other, sometimes at a distance, sometimes in close proximity when required or chance intervenes. Jake becomes a fixture in Levi’s life as Ruby’s new best friend and occasional caregiver, so Levi can’t escape him. In keeping with the author’s regular introduction of intriguing and colorful new characters, Jake even finds a nurse that Ruby can live with – a private, freelance hospice nurse who, in his down time, is a locally famous drag queen. Perfect, the drag queen and the former star stripper, a match made in heaven.

Considering how much synopsis I gave to introduce you to this charming and fun read, you might expect me to tell you what happens between the men, and how they avoid and can’t avoid each other, to both of their chagrin. But you’d be wrong. That would give away too many spoilers, and take away from the sheer fun of reading Love Me Tomorrow. Rest assured that a solution is eventually found, one that causes the least amount of pain, and leads to the inevitable Happily-Ever-After.

Mr. Day is a top-flight writer, and this is a top-flight book. It’s neither Shakespeare nor a cure for the common cold, but it is a delightful read with absurd and wonderful characters and moments of both joy and profound love. Wait till you read about the Anniversary Party, once it finally takes place. The description left me in tears. Mr. Day is a master at touching your funny bone at the same time that he tugs at your heartstrings, and it makes Love Me Tomorrow both a funny and authentically moving experience.

I have only one reservation about this book. Believe it or not, I didn’t like the epilogue. The last chapter, the one that brought the men together, was so beautiful, it left me with both a smile and a tear. I loved it. But the epilogue is, unfortunately, an epic, a dinner party that is the updated version of the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party. It suffers much inappropriateness, quite a bit of snark, and much more description of every single untied string remaining in the book than I might ever want or need. These include (among many other things) a discussion of real-estate transactions, remodeling details, who moved where with whom, business details, even a few pages on cooking mushrooms. Don’t get me wrong, there was nothing bad about the epilogue, except that it killed the high I got from the climax and resolution of the book itself. Like this review, sometimes you just have to stop and move on to the next project.

Still, that’s a minor complaint and one that definitely should not cause you to avoid reading this book. It’s beautifully written, colorful, vivid, moving and fun. What more could you ask?

Purchase Links

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AMAZON GLOBAL LINK

Meet Ethan Day

I am a gay man living in Missouri…I can hear the gasps already!! How very un-chic of me, yes I know. It was here I was born and here I have stayed. The youngest of four children and the only boy, I’ve always suffered from an extravagant fantasy life. When I played with my Star Wars action figures as a child, I liked to make up my own stories. Naturally, Luke Skywalker and Han Solo were totally meant for each other, and Princess Leia made a bitchin’ wise-cracking Fag Hag.

I managed to survive high school living in a small, racist town in Southeast Missouri and emerged unscathed, realizing life was too short to pretend to be anything other than who I was. It was very Lifetime Movie Network meets After School Special, I assure you.

After several stints in college, I signed up for a Creative Writing course, choosing the class because there were no tests. For once my scholastic laziness paid off, and I found an outlet for all the fantasies running amuck inside my head. It was love at first write, and I’ve been doing it off and on ever since.

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Giveaway

I’m offering up a free copy of Love Me Tomorrow to be chosen at random one week from today from those who leave a comment on this post! Feel free to post your thoughts on cheating or simply leave a short comment letting me know you’d like to participate in the contest or both!

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50 comments:

  1. I personally think an emotional affair/cheating is far worse. If you were to have a one time screw up I would be more inclined to work through it. But if the person feels they can't talk to me or open up to me about something that doesn't work.

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    1. Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts, Erin! Regardless of varied opinions, this is one of those topics that people tend to feel strongly about, which is what makes it so interesting to explore while writing a love story.

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  2. This is going to stir up some interesting viewpoints! :) I'm of the other belief - that it's nigh on impossible to never FEEL attraction to someone else, but the important loyalty issue is not ACTING on it. This may be TMI, but I had a BF once who had a huge picture of Debby Harry on the ceiling over his bed - yeah, yeah, while we were there - but another BF who cheated with several others while we were together. BF#2 is the one I couldn't forgive :P. All that TMI aside, I like a book that deals with realistic struggles and emotions, so I'm looking forward to this one :).

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    1. Hi Clare! I had that famous poster of Farrah Fawcett on my bedroom wall throughout my formative years and I think we can all guess how much that meant to me sexually speaking, lol. From my own personal experience, I've never been able to control who I fell in love with - perhaps that has been my inner Pisces rearing its spastic head - but I have often found myself wishing I could be in love with a guy who I knew would be perfect for me only to find myself completely in love with a guy that I knew was totally wrong for me instead. Perhaps some peeps out there can control that sort of thing, but I have always been at the mercy of fate - and fate has been a total bee-otch to me!

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  3. I feel like I'm in the minority in that I don't mind cheating in a book. It's reality and I like to see how characters deal with it. I agree with what you said about not being able to control what your feelings are as far as "emotional cheating", but when you act on the feelings by seeking more contact with the person just to further those feelings while shutting out your partner,that's a different story.

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    1. I would agree with that Debra, that pretty much lines up with my own thoughts on the matter. I think there can be a lot of inner-justifications that can go on, telling yourself its nothing in the beginning, that the feelings aren't real or merely a passing fancy that will go away on its own - and maybe there are times when that is true. But I think a lot of inner-bargaining can go on when something like this first hits, but inevitably we have to deal with reality. I've never personally believed that two people who are truly meant to be together could be split up by another person, but there are very likely many out there who may disagree with that.

      I've personally never had the best luck when it comes to love, so...those who can't, write, lol. : )

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  4. I want books that reflect real life, whether that be cheating or not. I've cheated and been cheated on. I preferred being the one doing the cheating. There are reasons for both. As strange as it seems, that person is the one I had the longest relationship with after we weren't sexually involved so cheating doesn't always mean the end of the world. Sometimes good people just don't fit the norm.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts! I'm fairly certain we'd all agree being cheated on sucks, lol. It is a fact of life sometimes though, otherwise we wouldn't have such strong and varied feelings on the topic. : )

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  5. I have no problem with cheating in a book for this is real in life.
    cvsimpkins@msn.com

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, Cornelia! : )

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  6. i would say cheating is when something actual happens between the other people..flirting here and there is no big deal to me

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    1. Thanks for sharing, Jodi! There a lot of naturally flirtatious people in the world who would agree. : )

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  7. Very interesting post! I have to say that I'm not a huge fan of cheating in books, but then again some of my favorite stories have come from people in relationships then finding the 'right' person, cheating and finding what makes them happy. It's definitely a sensitive topic, I definitely don't want to read about cheating just to cheat.

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    1. That certainly makes sense, Jenn, and I definitely feel you there. A book about cheating and how great it was wouldn't be something I'd race to the bookstore to pickup, either, lol.

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  8. Cheating to me is when you are emotionally involved with someone other then your husband/boyfriend/girlfriend

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    1. Thanks for stopping by the post and sharing your thoughts, Lana! : )

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  9. Hey Ethan,
    I don't intentionally read books that have cheating in them - coming from a broken home where dad cheated on mom I grew up with the aftermath and how my mom was never able to overcome the breakdown of her marriage and our family. However, I will read anything you write - absolutely love your books even if cheating is involved (although glad its only emo-cheating and not physical) :)

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    1. Hi Lisa - thank you for the kind words! That means a great deal to me that you enjoy my books enough to take that leap with me. : ) Hopefully I won't disappoint you with LMT. It is mostly told from the perspective of the odd man out and I attempted to approach the subject matter respectfully. I didn't want to make light of the situation, despite the book being a romantic comedy : )

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  10. I don't mind cheating in a book, same as I don't mind abuse or dub-con or insta-love... A novel is a work of fiction and sometimes a way to explore a theme you just hope won't ever happen to anyone. That being said, and in my humble opinion, cheating is physically acting on an attraction despite being emotionally involved with someone else and while knowing your significant other expects fidelity in your relationship... I think you can't always keep control of your feelings, but you have to respect your partner and choose to avoid acting on what can be an understandable temptation.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your perspective with us, Elle. What you describe above is pretty close to what I attempted to get upon the page. Realizing and accepting that very real feelings have popped up between two otherwise unsuspecting men, who continually become thrust back into one another's lives - forcing them to confront what is happening between them.

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  11. Flirting is harmless but I have no tolerance for cheating! With that being said, I don't mind cheating when in book situations, only.

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    1. LOL! Thanks for that aventura mama : )

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  12. This sounds like an awesome read. Already added it to TBR pile.

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    1. Thanks! Hope you enjoy the book : )

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  13. It took years to get over an 18-year epic fail marriage to an abusive, womanizing alcoholic. BUT get over it I did. I met and married my best friend; we were married 20+ years. I miss him like crazy but I'm truly blessed he was in my life. Oops--TMI.
    *Deep breath* I'm twitchy about infidelity, but cheating in fiction, not so much. :D LMT sounds interesting and I'll add it to my TBR pile.

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    1. I hope you enjoy the book! Sounds like you've seen the extreme best and worst of love and relationships. I'm sorry to hear about the epic fail, but happy to hear you were able to so successfully experience the flip side. Big squeezy hugs to you : )

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  14. Naming no names, I'm familiar with someone who has gone through a number of relationships in which her SO cheated on her. She married, certain she'd found her soul mate, only to learn after child number two, that he'd been having a number of online affairs. He swore nothing actually happened, so she forgave him and they did some couples therapy and moved on. Some years later, her children stumbled upon proof that he'd been using prostitutes, despite serious ongoing financial difficulties. She tells me the pain was pretty much the same, other than it hurting worse because her kids were harmed the second time. She's never far from my thoughts when cheating is discussed. On the other hand, I know a couple who have been happily married for decades, who also have polyamorous partners. What it comes down to is the way you negotiate your relationship(s). If it's what you both (all) honestly want, then it's all good. Just be honest with yourself, and don't cave to pressure to do something that feels wrong to you.

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    1. Thanks for sharing that, Kezia! There are definitely people out there who go out looking to cheat and that is sad. Makes me wonder why they entered into a relationship to begin with? But there is a huge difference between someone married or in a committed relationship who is out actively looking vs. someone who isn't looking yet happens to meet someone by chance and feelings develop from there. That's what made the book fun for me to write, having honorable people caught up in a scenario that none of them were looking for and allowing them to navigate the situation in a way that felt authentic for who the characters were.

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  15. Congratulations on the new release! Looking forward to reading it! Physical cheating is one thing and can be a one time thing. But emotional cheating means you are invested in that person and that's a whole different ballgame!

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    1. Thanks Julie! I hope you enjoy the book should you decide to read it. I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts, for sure. : )

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  16. congrats on new book. im not sure really

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  17. This book has caught my eye several times, I can't wait to read! Cheating in a book doesn't bother me, I do get mad and want to slap the cheater but sometimes it makes the book more like real life. No one is perfect, and I don't want my books to be all straight and narrow. I don't condone cheating in real life, but it happens. Congrats on your success!!

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    1. Thank you Amy! I hope you enjoy the book if you decide to read it. I get mad at characters as well, sometimes my own and sometimes the fabulous characters created by my fellow authors when I have time to actually read.

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  18. I agree with you that emotional cheating is not something you can control. Now if you act on those feelings by actively seeking someone out, whether you have sex or not, that is cheating. Communication is key in any relationship. If someone has feelings for someone else they need to talk to their partner. Congratulations on the book. Thanks for the chance

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    1. Thanks for stopping by to share your thoughts on the subject, Denise : )

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  19. Cheating is tough. I don't mind it being in books. I think it makes it more realistic. Life is messy and people sometimes make emotional bonds that they didn't realize were forming until it's too late and they are "emotionally cheating". In real life, I have seen both cheating and emotional cheating, they both hurt the relationship, but it's how the couple handles it that matters.

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    1. Very true, Jen! It's never easy for anyone involved in this sort of situation, but hopefully it makes for good reading : )

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  20. if you touch another in anyway sexual way is cheating

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    1. Awesome, thanks for sharing, Jeanine! : )

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  21. Oh such a touchy subject. I used to hate cheating in books but now I am more jaded I think. I was that Fairytales and rainbows kinda girl until my husband that I was with since we were teenagers (not married since then, started dating then) left me for someone else after nine years of marriage, 14 years together and a beautiful son. Smacked me right up side the head, never saw it coming. Now whether he ever slept with her while we were married I don't know, never asked, doesn't change a thing and would never get the truth anyways but he did make the choice as a married man to give another woman his phone number, secretively and to start a relationship with her at the very least emotionally. So yes, after that long winded poor me answer, I believe cheating doesn't have to be physical. On the flip side now I don't mind cheating in books because, hey that's the real world and I love angst as long as I get a HEA, because I do still have a bit of hope for the world yet.

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    1. Hi Carey! Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sending some virtual hugs your way. I think we all love having that bit of hope to help carry us through the day, that is likely why we all enjoy reading romance. : )

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  22. Looking and flirting I think it's okay. But I pretty much would cross the line at any kind of physical behavior beyond a friendly hug. Emotionally you can't stop anyone from getting invested in someone else and there are different types of love.

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    1. That is true H.B. - there are many types of love and longing, and many different ways of expressing that. : )

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  23. Great post. I've read a lot of reviews that talked about how their major turn off to a book was the cheating (whether physical or emotional.) Personally I find any kind of cheating difficult to stomach due to experiences in real life with family and friends. I have seen the devastation that it can cause and I would never hope or want to condone this behavior. Having said that, I do find it easier to read about cheating, but it's definitely not one of my favorite things to see in a story line.

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    1. Thanks for stopping by! You are definitely in good company if that helps at all. : ) I'm usually okay with most anything so long as the characters end up in a positive place. That HEA helps heal many a literary wound for me. But I'll admit I wouldn't want to read about a guy who cheats and celebrates that fact.

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  24. Cheating is anything that includes kissing with the use of tongue's and beyond. To me their is no excuse if the person does that. If they can do that then something is either wrong with them or the relationship. If that person needs it then they should be open to themselves and to the other person.

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    1. Thanks so much for popping by and sharing your thoughts Felicia! I would tend to agree with you, that is pretty much my line in the sand too. Though my BF kissing another guy would actually be harder for me to get past than anything else, I think.

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