Godsend by Sloan Johnson
Author: Sloan Johnson
Genre: Adult, Gay Romance
Release Date: February 4, 2015
You can’t choose who you fall in love with. Despite knowing from a young age that he was gay, Scott Murphy couldn’t imagine life without Shelly. He threw away the labels and had eleven amazing years with her, but now, he feels even more lost trying to figure out how to move on after Shelly’s death. After nearly a year of watching Scott fade away, Shelly’s father forces him to start living again.
As much as Chris loathes the idea of attending a bereavement group week after week, it’s one of the only places he can go in this town, other than the bar, to not feel so alone. When there’s nothing to distract him or dull his senses, he spends too much time obsessing over how he should have been able to help his sister. When Scott shows up at his group session, Chris decides that maybe some good can come out of his sister’s death.
There’s no denying that Chris is the first man to catch Scott’s attention in a long time, but how can he move on when just thinking of Shelly sends him to his dark place?
The road to recovery won’t be an easy one, but Chris is determined to help Scott see that life is still worth living. But before Scott can allow himself to admit what he feels for Chris, he knows he has to reveal the full truth about Shelly’s death.
Godsend by Sloan Johnson is an emotional tale about being brave enough to take that second chance at love. When you have experienced a devastating loss that leaves you questioning how you will go on it takes a lot of courage to emerge from a grief-ridden state and open your heart once again to possibilities. There may be a light at the end of your dark tunnel; however, sometimes you need a push in the right direction.
Scott Murphy had to say good-bye and experience the horrendous desolation of losing someone when his wife died. Shelly was in his life for so long that Scott could not fathom experiencing anything further without her by his side. He is lost and manages to shut out those that care about him. As someone who was attracted to men, Scott shed all sexual orientation labels when he fell for Shelly’s vivaciousness and caring nature. They had eleven amazing years together and a little under one year together as husband and wife. He was never good at letting people in but Shelly broke through all his barriers and loved him as he was. Now, how was Scott supposed to continue living with the one thing that made his life worthwhile gone?
Shelly’s father finally breaks through Scott’s grief-ridden state and manages to get him to attend a bereavement support group. There Scott meets Chris, a sexy, blue-eyed blonde that he can’t seem to take his eyes away from. Chris has also experienced a tragic loss and attends the group so that he doesn’t feel so alone. Despite the under-riding current of attraction between the pair, there is no way Scott is ready for any type of romantic entanglement. A tentative friendship forms between the pair which eventually develops into more as they deal with the myriad of emotions they have for one another. Can Chris be the one that finally makes Scott see that life is still worth living?
Ms. Johnson has written a story with two very endearing protagonists. To the outside world Scott is this gruff individual who is hard to deal with, but underneath that cold façade there is a fragile man too scared to allow anyone in again. The reality of having to possibly lose someone again is too much for Scott to fathom. He would rather remain locked up tight with his emotions in check. I loved how careful and gentle Chris was with Scott. Chris understood that Scott came with a plethora of emotional issues but he simply could not stay away and cut their connection. As Scott and Chris begin to spend more time with one another and their relationship deepens, both men struggle to make sense of how the other makes them feel and what this means for their futures. I did feel like some of the drama near the end was a little too contrived and unnecessary; however, it was nice to see this emotional love story come to fruition and see just how Scott and Chris fit into each other’s lives. It really was a beautiful tale of love.
All in all, Godsend was a poignant tale that touched my heart. What you get is a sweet and emotional second chance love story that shot straight to my heart as the story unfolded. The road to a happy forever for Scott and Chris was chalk full of emotional obstacles and turmoil but there is something to be said for having to rise above the hardships to get to that place of unconditional love. We often have to walk through darkness to get to the place of beauty and light. In the end, it is always worth it.
I promised Ma that I wouldn’t drink my dinner every night, but some days, it’s impossible to keep that promise. I tell myself that it’s different on days like today because I’m not drinking to forget how much I miss Jill, I’m drinking to forget how miserable some people choose to make one another. Today, I just about lost it and told one couple that there’s no point in them even trying to get along. Unfortunately, my partner frowns upon me telling couples that sometimes two people just aren’t meant to be together, as was this case with this pair.
It takes a minute for my eyes to adjust to the dark atmosphere of Brewster’s after walking around for thirty minutes trying to tell myself I didn’t need a drink. I find an empty seat at the end of the bar and signal the bartender for my usual. Okay, so maybe Ma had a point since he simply nods and has a tall whiskey sour sitting in front of me in less than a minute.
I look around, the same way I do every night, wondering if this town will ever start to feel like home. It’s a nice enough place, but there’s a definite divide between those who are from here and those who move here at some point in their lives.
I sit a bit straighter when I see Scott, the quiet, broody guy from group, sitting at one of the high top tables in the center of the room. He looks absolutely miserable. When I catch a glimpse of his date for the evening, Adrian the annoying twink who thinks he’s God’s gift to all gay men in town, the annoyance radiating off Scott is understandable.
I nurse the first drink, rather than down it as quickly as possible. I’ve wanted to talk to Scott the past few weeks, but he’s ducked out as soon as the official meeting ends, even though Jim hangs around for a while. I’ve considered following him when he leaves, to see if I can talk to him, but then I tell myself that he must have his reasons for not wanting to deal with people and I have to respect that.
I feel like a creep, watching Adrian and Scott eating dinner, but I can’t help it. A few times, I’ve thought Scott was checking me out the same way I have been him and this is the first confirmation I have that I might be right. Scott excuses himself from the table and Adrian reaches out for him as he walks away. I laugh when Scott practically jumps back to keep from being part of an awkward and unwelcome embrace.
Once he’s in the restroom, I order another drink before putting a five-dollar bill in the jukebox. I don’t give a shit about the music, but it’s the closest I can get to Scott without following him into the bathroom, which is a level of creepy that I can’t imagine stooping to.
Meet the Author
Sloan Johnson is a big city girl trapped in a country girl’s life. While she longs for the hustle and bustle of New York City or Las Vegas, she hasn’t yet figured out how to sit on the deck with her morning coffee, watching the deer and wild turkeys in the fields while surrounded by concrete and glass.
When she was three, her parents received their first call from the principal asking them to pick her up from school. Apparently, if you aren’t enrolled, you can’t attend classes, even in Kindergarten. The next week, she was in preschool and started plotting her first story soon after.
Later in life, her parents needed to do something to help their socially awkward, uncoordinated child come out of her shell and figured there was no better place than a bar on Wednesday nights. It’s a good thing they did because this is where she found her love of reading and writing. Who needs socialization when you can sit alone in your bedroom with a good book?
Now, Sloan is a tattooed mom with a mohawk and two kids. She’s been kicked out of the PTA in two school districts and is no longer asked to help with fundraisers because she’s been known to lose herself with a good book and forget she has somewhere to be.