Monday, May 05, 2014

BDSM Week ~ JP Barnaby ~ Have Flogger Will Travel with Signed Paperback Giveaway

JP

I have to admit I was extremely moved when I read this very open and honest article from JP Barnaby and I now understand why she has such an insight and connection to her characters and the lifestyle, and how she manages to convey that emotion to us as readers, yes, her excellent writing has a lot to do with it, but mostly I think it’s because she understands the emotions behind it... I really can't thank JP Barnaby enough… thank you so very much for sharing with us.

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Have Flogger Will Travel

by JP Barnaby

As I relax in my hotel room at OutlantaCon, my flogger lies in my suitcase, the tendrils of its tress fanned over the Motley Crue T-shirt on top. It’s there because a beautiful man, the cover model for In the Absence of Monsters, wants to play. Seeing him in his leather harness makes my heart skip, but the thought of being flogged by him—the anticipation is almost painful. To be on the cross at The Eagle, vulnerable and waiting, with his strength and dominance radiating through the open space behind me. God, it’s a beautiful thing.

I started in the BDSM lifestyle nearly twenty years ago in a pretty vulnerable place in my life. At the time, I had been dating a beautiful woman ten years my senior. As we dated, she began to tell me about her Dom. They didn’t have a romantic relationship. It was purely sexual, something to fill a need. We talked about the death of my daughter a few years before. She died from an unsuccessful heart transplant, something over which I had absolutely no control. My girlfriend explained about the lifestyle and how I could use it to gain back some of my control.h She introduced me to her Dom and we talked about things I liked and things I didn’t. We talked about how I was feeling and where my life was going.

Then, we met in person and had a weekend of mind blowing sessions.

What he taught me in those intimate moments was that the submissive holds the power in BDSM relationship. By uttering a single word, everything stops--even if it’s something I agreed to in my limits or a negotiation. It’s all within my control even if he is planning out what we’re going to do together. For someone who felt so completely adrift in life, that moment was a revelation.

Our relationship lasted for a few years as we gave each other what we needed. I needed rudder, and he needed my submission. When it ended, I had a successful career in IT and a path to follow. We parted amicably when he found someone with whom he could have a romantic relationship. Not long after I met the man who has been my Dom on and off for over ten years. He knows me better than I know myself.

In the M/M genre, we find a lot of stories with weak subs, omniscient Doms, and even some with abuse thinly disguised as BDSM. These novel attributes have nothing to do with the lifestyle I live. My Dom is human, he makes mistakes (far fewer over the years). I do what I do because I love it, not because of some mental handicap. Yes, in the beginning I did it to work through the pain of my daughter’s death and my characters also have things they are dealing with—but, everyone does. Finally, our lifestyle has adopted the philosophy of “Safe, Sane, and Consensual” which by its very definition negates even dubious consent. Our players work within the framework of informed consent.

I get a lot of questions about the lifestyle from readers—usually because of something they’ve read in an M/M book. The underlying curiosity is always “does this ring true for you” or “is this plausible”. With Fifty Shades of Gray came a renewed interest in the lifestyle with more and more people reading what was once traded and coveted by those of us who live it. Most of the BDSM stories we read were traded through fetlife or recon. Now, they seem to be everywhere.

I find it interesting that there is a parallel between two prominent arguments in our genre – the first is about people who write BDSM but don’t practice it. The second is about women writing gay fiction when we aren’t men. The same pros and cons can be made with both—if you research well enough, you should be able to write anything. I question that from only one aspect. I write BDSM because I have a deep passion for it. I ache to be bound and even whipped as a prelude to sex. It’s something I find highly erotic. It turns me on. I find that same passion when writing contemporary M/M fiction. Those who don’t live the lifestyle, who don’t know what that dynamic feels like when it is pulsing through your veins, may not interject that same respect and love for it that I have. It’s not a criticism, just a question. For example, I would not be able to effectively write about modern art because I don’t have any kind of passion for it. I can stand in front of the canvas and say it’s pretty, but to discuss structure, tone, or shades of color would be beyond my scope of knowledge and interest.

The BDSM lifestyle is something that lives within me and I have a passion for writing it. In the Absence of Monsters is a mirror for my own journey into the lifestyle and my own questions about why I am bisexual. Painting Fire on the Air deals with BDSM as it related to how I dealt with my daughter’s death through control, pain, and submission – almost as a compulsion.

BDSM and how I translate it into fiction is my therapy.

It’s my zen.

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In The Absence of Monsters by JP Barnaby

 

Monsters

Jayden Carter knew the path he wanted his life to take. He wanted to get his Master’s Degree in History and teach. But when he answered an ad for a roommate and met mysterious doctor, Ethan Bryant, he’s brought into a world he never knew existed and his path changes.
It changes again for Jayden and he leaves Ethan with their friend, Lexi, in tow. Ethan loses himself in a haze of self-destruction and pain. With the help of a childhood friend, Gabriel, Ethan battles the demons of his childhood and finds a way to survive. Gabriel and Jayden wage an epic war for Ethan, but in the end, they may all end up losing.
Adapted from The Forbidden Room and A House of Cards: Deconstructing Ethan

 

REVIEW | AMAZON US | AMAZON UK | AMAZON CA

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The Perfect Tree by JP Barnaby

 

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Master Ethan has decided that his boy Jayden should have a nice traditional Christmas for the first time in their relationship. What would Christmas be without the perfect tree?

 

 

 

FREE DOWNLOAD FROM WILDE CITY PRESS

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Painting Fire on the Air by JP Barnaby

 

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A Survivor Story
From her perch on a shelf above my bed, the doll accuses me with lifeless eyes of failing Juliette in the most heinous way imaginable, forcing me to crave the bite of his whip and the steel in his voice to drown out the ache in my chest.
For his entire life, Benjamin Martin’s parents drilled into his head that he must watch out for his little sister, but one horrific night, he failed. Now, the bite of a whip, cuffs digging into his wrists, his arms and legs stretched beyond endurance, these things give him what he needs to forget his sister’s violent death, at least for a while.
When Ben’s latest Dom casts him aside like a broken toy, he manipulates his best friend, Jude Archer, into picking up the pieces. Jude has been in love with Ben for years, but his fantasies about his friend never included whipping him. He doesn't understand why Ben needs BDSM and he worries about Ben’s addiction. Most of all, he fears losing his humanity because he’s already lost himself in Ben. When he’s forced to trade the marks upon his soul for the pain that ravages Ben, Jude learns the real definition of submission

 

REVIEW | AMAZON US | AMAZON UK | AMAZON CA

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About JP Barnaby

 

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Award winning romance novelist, J. P. Barnaby has penned over a dozen books including the Working Boys series, the Little Boy Lost series, In the Absence of Monsters, and Aaron. As a bisexual woman, J.P. is a proud member of the GLBT community both online and in her small town on the outskirts of Chicago. A member of Mensa, she is described as brilliant but troubled, sweet but introverted, and talented but deviant. She spends her days writing software and her nights writing erotica, which is, of course, far more interesting. The spare time that she carves out between her career and her novels is spent reading about the concept of love, which, like some of her characters, she has never quite figured out for herself.

WEBSITE | TWITTER | FACEBOOK | GOODREADS

 

Books by JP Barnaby

 

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Giveaway

JP Barnaby will be gifting One very Lucky reader a Paperback of In The Absence, signed by JP and the Cover Model… don’t miss it!!!

Good Luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

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Kindle Fire HD Giveaway

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Enter the Rafflecopter HERE to win a Kindle Fire HD…

25 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing. I am fascinated by BDSM. Though not a participant, I enjoy reading about why it works for other people. <3

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  2. That was great! Thank you for sharing. I find BDSM very interesting and like reading it in books when it works well for the characters.

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  3. Would love a copy.....am a huge fan of JP Barnaby

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  4. A beautiful glimpse into your life, as always.

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  5. mixed my 2 favorite things, JP Barnaby and BDSMJ

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  6. Love JP's books, and you can tell that she get it when writing about BDSM.

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  7. Loved it. Thank u for sharing.

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  8. great interview.....I'm sorry for JP's loss of a daughter but was interested in how BDSM helped her cope

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  9. Wow... powerful interview JP. Thank you for sharing your life with us.

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  10. Great post. Thanks for sharing.

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  11. You are an unbelievably strong woman JP. Thankyou for this incite into your world.

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  12. Great post, thanks for giving us a glimpse of your life.

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  13. Wonderful post, thank you for sharing a part of yourself with us.

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  14. The dynamics of JP's stories are always so nuanced and unpredictable, which seems to me what good BDSM should be about!

    --Trix

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  15. Thank you so much for coming to check out the post and for all your kind words. <3

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  16. The covers look amazing and they all sound great.

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  17. Wow thank you so much for this post. Hopefully I will be able to start exploring the BDSM scene soon. Since I have been reading about it the last couple of years, I have been thinking about it alot lately.

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  18. I find it difficult to describe how I feel about JP's interviews. Somehow they seem so raw and open and they always touch me. She always has something new to say or reveal, either about herself, the cover models or about bdsm. I always look forward to reading interviews and posts by JP. Thanks! :)

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  19. Sounds good! Thanks for the chance!

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  20. I always find that I enjoy books more when the author is writing about something they have a passion for. I think I will look into her books. Thanks for the giveaway!

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