Title ~ Special Delivery (Special Deliver #1)
Author ~ Heidi Cullinan
Publisher ~ Samhain Publishing
Genre ~ M/M Erotic Romance, BDSM, M/M/M
Due for Release ~ 4th February 2014
Rating ~ 5 Stars
When your deepest, darkest fantasy shows up, get on board.
Sam Keller knows he’ll never find the excitement he craves in Middleton, Iowa—not while he’s busting his ass in nursing school and paying rent by slaving away in a pharmacy stockroom. Then Sam meets Mitch Tedsoe, an independent, long-haul trucker who makes a delivery to a shop across the alley. Innocent flirting quickly leads to a fling, and when Mitch offers to take him on a road trip west, Sam jumps at the chance for adventure. Mitch is sexy, funny and friendly, but once they embark on their journey, something changes. One minute he’s the star of Sam’s every x-rated fantasy, the next he’s almost too much a perfect gentleman. And when they hit the Las Vegas city limit, Sam has a name to pin on Mitch’s malady: Randy.
For better or for worse, Sam grapples with the meaning of friendship, letting go, growing up—even the meaning of love—because no matter how far he travels, eventually all roads lead home.
Warning: This story contains trucker fantasies, threesomes and kinky consensual sex.
This book has been previously published and has been revised from its original release.
This book so deservedly sits on my all time favourites shelf and I have read and listened to it several times since, because, yes, I also have it in audio book. It reminds me of just how wonderful it is to lose yourself in the words so cleverly gifted to us as readers… For me, this is Heidi’s finest work, my favourite of all of her books, because even years later and several readings in, Sam and Mitch still get my heart racing, it hits every single one of my kink buttons… it’s deliciously wicked and the intensity of it is potent. And, despite knowing the story, there are those moments that never fail to pierce my heart… I ache for these two men, both lost, Mitch in the wide expanse of the open road feeling safe in his solitary existence and Sam, unable to spread his wings in the confines of small town America. It shows that sometimes throwing caution to the wind, taking a road trip and seizing the day can open up a closed heart and a confused soul, finding a perfect balance where there is no need for all the guilt, shame, confusion and internal conflict… that it’s okay to be who and what you are and learn to embrace it.
We all need to be loved… it’s an inherent part of who we are, to love and be loved in return. But for Sam it’s more than that, he also has an overwhelming need to be desired… for him that feeling is a euphoria like no other. But he’s young and has no experiences from which to draw from and all he feels is guilt for his need to be used and humiliated, ashamed because he enjoys being the slut, it may sound like he is a bit of a whore, however that couldn’t be further from the truth… inside he is just an innocent with a pure heart, gentle, sweet, open and giving… just very confused. Losing his Mother had a profound effect on Sam and subsequently landing in a hostile environment, with the Aunt from hell, who definitely deserves a bitch slap, he feels a burden and is constantly reminded of the fact… he had known what it was like to be loved and now he feels isolated and alone. His need to be desired eases that loneliness but what he really needs is a sense of belonging, to be understood and loved… and for some reason Mitch was like coming home.
Every Motherly instinct in me wanted to smother Sam with the love he so deserves. But with Mitch… it was more like MY wanton inner slut was writhing to the surface… the man is a walking talking sexual fantasy. He oozes sex and confidence and quietly commands the page… he is a man of very few words, but his actions… Holy Fuck!!! My first reading of this book was whilst I was on holiday, and let me tell you, it was a good job I was lying by the side of a pool because I was in and out of that pool like a damn yo-yo! Don’t get me wrong, he’s not perfect by any stretch of the imagination… but I do love me a bad boy!
Mitch’s reticence to discuss the “Elephant in the room,” that being Randy, who I will get to later, stems from his own guilt and self disgust and something deep within himself he fears, a past he’s ashamed of, making him unable to truly let go. He’s conflicted, wanting to give himself to Sam without turning it into an addiction, a drug that lures you in, because to him Sam is so much more than that, Sam is his “Sunshine,” so he holds himself back, distancing himself, which of course only exasperates Sam’s insecurities.
“I call you Sunshine because when you smile, the sun come out”
So, Randy… the “little bastard” when we first meet him, there ain’t much to like, I seriously wanted to do some damage to that man for constantly trying to sexually intimidate Sam and manipulate the situation, basically trying to fuck with his head! However, first appearances can be deceiving and in his case this is true, yes, he and Mitch have a past I wasn’t happy about but we learn that theirs is a connection not of the emotional kind, more based on a mutual need but above all friendship with Sam being the key which enables them to also heal past wounds… and the Sam Sandwich, well, that was a feast to behold… together these three redefined sinful and sexy!
Heidi captures so much emotion in her writing with characters that you become totally invested in, personally I prefer that combined with her more decadent tales because I love my smut and Heidi Cullinan does it SO well. I do have to mention Judy… Judy is an iPhone, and you may think this odd, but personally I think it’s a testament to Heidi’s writing that I am so attached to her that when I think of this book Judy immediately comes to mind… she is pivotal in the story and every time I think of her I just get the warm and fuzzies! …
“I love my iPhone. I named her Judy”
“I want you to keep Judy.”
“I can’t keep your cell phone.”
“You use it all the time. You use it more than I ever did. You need one, and really, I don’t. I never did. I just wanted it.”
Yes, I am a sad person because I am also attached to Old Blue, because again, that truck is so much more than just a truck, Old Blue has a story or two to tell and the vision of Old Blue coming over the horizon will stay with me and just melts my heart every time I think of it.
“It was huge. It was beautiful. It was blue”
Series Reading order
Special Delivery ~ Due for release ~ 4th February 2014 ~ http://amzn.to/1cEjbXF
Double Blind ~ Due for release ~ 4th March 2014 ~ http://amzn.to/1nxyG7Z
Tough Love ~ Due for release ~ 8th April 2014 ~ http://amzn.to/1cEj2n9
A Word From Heidi
Thanks for having me on Sinfully Sexy today! I’m having a blast with the tour so far, and it’s fantastic rediscovering Special Delivery with longtime fans and watching them bring new readers along for a ride in Old Blue.
It blows my mind to realize it’s been four years since Special Delivery and Double Blind first came out. It feels like ten minutes ago…and yet so much has changed too in that time. It was fun but also instructive to look back at my second and third published works, to see how I’ve changed but also to fully understand how some things about me will always be there.
I’ve brought along a little teaser for you today, or a reminiscence if you’ve already read Special Delivery. This is the first book in the series, which originally was meant to be an eight thousand word short. With over 300 thousand words between the three novels, that always makes me laugh to think about now. It started out as a nugget of a stock boy and a deliveryman having a fling in an alley. But it was such a good little fling, and Sam was so sweet but stuck and Mitch so lonely, and I couldn’t help thinking, what happened next?
Here’s a little bit of how that worked out.
Mitch remained quiet for another mile. Sam worried he’d broken everything already. But as they came up over a hill near a rest stop, Mitch said, “Safe word. You didn’t pick one.”
Sam blinked and tried to think. “Violet.”
“Character. From 9 to 5.”
“Good. Remember Violet, then.” He aimed the semi toward the rest stop. “I believe I promised you a spanking if you said that word again.”
“Wait—wait.” Sam held on to the dash as Mitch pulled into a parking spot. “You can’t be serious.”
“Oh, I’m very serious.” He locked the doors and undid his seat belt as he faced Sam. “Stand up and strip that ass bare.”
He’s teasing you. Sam told himself this, but as he sat frozen in his seat, watching Mitch’s rigid jaw, it was a hard line to buy. Sam breathed shallowly, as if to keep from being noticed by too much movement. After a minute or so, his hand hurt, and he realized this was because he held the seat belt strap so tightly it cut into his skin.
“You remember your word?” When Sam kept blinking, Mitch added, “Your safe word?”
It took work to force the word out. “Violet.”
“Okay.” Mitch pointed at Sam. “Get your ass over my knee.”
No, Sam wanted to shout, but he couldn’t, and what was weirder, he undid his seat belt and stumbled around the console and headed for Mitch, moving as if he were in a dream.
“Take off your pants.” Mitch tugged at Sam’s T-shirt. “This too. Take it all off. Right now, Sam. Do it.”
Sam had been ready to argue until the gruff command to do it. For some reason this inspired him to reach for the hem of his shirt, pull it off and toss it onto the passenger seat. He fumbled with the fastenings of his jeans because Mitch stared at his waist, and the look made all Sam’s blood run south. But when he pushed his jeans and underwear down and his phone started to tumble out of his pocket, Mitch leaned forward, steadied him and caught the phone in one motion. He put Judy into a small compartment in the dash before nodding at Sam’s jeans. “All the way off. Socks too.”
Sam undressed, dick hardening as he did so, which amazed him because a large part of him wanted to run. This was beyond stupid now. This was crazy. But oh, God, it was the most sexy thing he’d ever done in his life.
He’ll stop if I say the word.
Or would he?
Hesitating with his sock in hand, Sam looked Mitch in the eye. “Violet.”
Immediately, Mitch softened and touched his arm. “Too fast, Sunshine?”
Sam let out a breath, a two-ton weight off his chest. “Just testing.”
Mitch stayed where he was, watching Sam’s face. “So you want to keep playing? Because we don’t have to, if you don’t want to. It’s okay. We can go slow.”
“I don’t want to go slow.”
Mitch’s mouth turned up in one corner. “You’re ready to take your punishment?”
“You want me to spank you for saying you were stupid?”
Sam hesitated. Then he nodded again.
Mitch arched his eyebrows. “Say it. Tell me what you want.”
Sam did not want to say it. He wanted it to happen to him, but even as he thought that, he realized it wasn’t fair. He swallowed and tried to hold his head high. “I—I want you to…to spank me. Because I’m stupid.”
Mitch made a noise in the back of his throat that sounded disturbingly like a growl, and the next thing Sam knew he pitched forward toward the dash. He stopped at the last second, arms rigid against the panel of instrument readings or whatever they were, a knee on his stomach and another under his thigh. His bare ass stuck high in the air.
“Say it.” Mitch’s voice was tight and angry. “Tell me you’re stupid.”
“I’m stupid,” Sam said without hesitation and more than a little sass.
Mitch spanked him.
It was no gentle tap, but a smart slap against Sam’s bare buttocks, and it came with an accompanying smacking sound echoing loudly in the cab. Sam cried out, the sound half-recovery, half-outrage, and he tried to wriggle away.
Mitch held him in place and spanked him some more.
The sting from the first blow started to radiate, and when the second one came down, it amplified the first, and by the third Sam worked harder to get away. The more he struggled, the more firmly Mitch held him down, and by the time Mitch finished the seventh slap, Sam had learned to hold still and breathe.
After the tenth, Mitch stopped and rested his palm on the globe of Sam’s now acutely smarting ass. “Would you care to say it again?”
No, Sam would not, because he did not want to be spanked anymore. Yet there was a tightness inside him now, an anger fueled by all the hurt and shame and confusion he’d felt all day, and—well, he was stupid. “Yes,” he snarled. “Because I am. I’m stupid. I’m stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid—ah!”
The spanking resumed. It hurt from the start and with more than a little sting. Violet, Sam thought, but even as part of him wanted to end this, the part driving only cried out—and in a move making him feel utterly, utterly like a whore—he arched his ass up higher toward the striking palm. By the tenth strike Sam’s ass was on fire, but the burn was spreading, and his cries had become moans.
“And now?” Mitch asked, as calmly as you please. But Sam could feel Mitch’s erection poking at Sam through the jeans. He was enjoying this. A lot. If he was a whore, Mitch was too.
Sam shuddered. “I’m stupid. I’m so stupid.” He shut his eyes. “And I’m a whore. I’m a slut.”
Mitch’s laugh was a shiver of dark pleasure. “Oh, but, Sunshine, you aren’t stupid.” A finger slid down the tingling crack between his cheeks, and he gasped as Mitch’s hand closed gently around his balls. “You can be as slutty and whorish as you want, and it will never make you stupid.”
Sam’s arms had been rigid against the dash, but when Mitch stroked him, they went slack and weak. “I do stupid things when I’m slutty.”
“You’re awfully slutty right now with your bare ass all red while you hump my hand. You can make this stop any time, but you don’t. You’re running off with me to God knows where, and you all but begged me to make you my little sex toy on the way. Do you think that makes you a whore?”
Sam was, indeed, humping into Mitch’s hand, because it was stroking his cock. “Yes.”
“Do you want to be my whore, sweetheart?”
Lust, hot and thick, shot through Sam’s body. “Yes.”
“Are you stupid, Sam Keller?”
Mitch’s finger pressed at Sam’s hole. “I’m enjoying this. I’m feeling pretty slutty myself. Am I stupid?”
“No,” Sam replied, no hesitation at all.
“Turn your head to the right.”
Mitch pressed his fingers gently against Sam’s lips. “Open.”
Sam complied, opening his mouth like a baby bird, shuddering when Mitch slipped two fingers inside.
About Heidi Cullinan
Heidi Cullinan has always loved a good love story, provided it has a happy ending. She enjoys writing across many genres but loves above all to write happy, romantic endings for LGBT characters because there just aren't enough of those stories out there. When Heidi isn't writing, she enjoys cooking, reading, knitting, listening to music, and watching television with her husband and ten-year-old daughter. Heidi is a vocal advocate for LGBT rights and is proud to be from the first midwestern state with full marriage equality.
Find out more about Heidi, including her social networks, at www.heidicullinan.com.
Heidi will be gifting one lucky reader an ebook of Special Delivery… all you need to do is leave a comment and enter your details in the Rafflecopter below…